Over the past two years in various ministries we have seen couples change their lives from society’s priorities to the teachings of the Bible and the Catholic Church. 

We fondly recall Lori and Damian who changed from contraceptives to Natural Family Planning with the result that Lori is now healthy and happy. (She experienced many side effects from the pill.) Originally they decided that they would have no more than two children. As they embraced the NFP mentality they realized that children are a gift. Now they have three children and are contemplating a fourth. They tell how NFP has guided them to their top three priorities in marriage: God first, then each other, and then their children. 

Nick and Lynn realized that work was taking time away from the family. Nick quit a well paying job with a good chance of promotion because he had little or no time for home life. The children were growing up and he was missing out on activities that come once in a lifetime. He took a job that paid less but allowed him to be home with their three (soon to be four children). Lynn was willing to give up routine luxuries in exchange for Nick’s presence and his help with the children. 

Maureen and Greg suffered two miscarriages. They found consolation in the Mass held each year at the Cathedral in October for couples who lost a child. The Mass allowed them to grieve as the Church formally recognized their loss. It was a real blessing for them, enabling them to move on with their life. They also received a blessing with the relic of St. Gerard to become parents. They learned NFP and the best timing for pregnancy. They now have a healthy child. More NFP information can be found at www.nfponline.org . 

A survey of divorced Catholics in the Archdiocese of Detroit revealed that although these couples prayed individually, they would pray together only rarely. Why? They do not know how!  So Deacon Bob Ovies established a Couple Prayer Series to teach couples a variety of disciplines for praying together. The marriage preparation program at our Parish has developed a new section to introduce couple prayer to the engaged. They respond that this is one of the best parts of the program. For more information about couple prayer go to www.coupleprayer.com .

Our parish introduced praying the Liturgy of the Hours. This prayer has been simplified for lay people in the Shorter Christian Prayer book. The Pope encourages families to include this prayer in their family devotions.   We found it challenging at first to pray together each morning and evening.

We gave up several times before it finally became part of our lives. This is one of the formal ways that a couple can pray together. Eucharistic Adoration has been introduced in many parishes. We have found it inspiring to see families come and young children sit and read or help their younger siblings talk with Jesus.

           It is our children who have taught us the most important lessons in life. I remember when our son Bill was in the 7th grade and had trouble with a 4th grader, Calvin. I told Bill he could not beat up on Calvin because of the age difference. One day I got so upset by Bill’s complaints that we marched over to Calvin’s house to work out some solution with the parents.  His mother told Bill to beat up Calvin. I was flabbergasted, but relieved, thinking that Bill would get his frustration out, and we would finally have peace. On the way home Bill simply said, “I feel sorry for Calvin. His mom doesn’t really love him.” No, Bill did not beat up Calvin, and never complained about him again!

           Bible study groups are being organized in many parishes.  Some groups focus on adults while others address the needs of teenagers. As families share what they learn at the bible study everyone is enriched and benefits!  A recent study was for the October 8th Sunday readings, which focused on family. The main points that came from the discussion were that:
>        God made all things; Adam named all things and found a  great helper in Eve. God made them two in one flesh.
>        Suffering is part of life.  Our attitude can get us Heaven or Hell!  Families can help each other get to Heaven.
>         Marriage is not easy!  Divorce is not in God’s plan. Divorce is devastating to families and a source of suffering through which only God can help a family. 

            Ann and Mike have trouble disciplining their strong willed son. The Bible tells us to bring up a child according to the spirit God gave him. The hard part is to discipline without breaking the spirit of the child. Ann and Mike are looking in the right direction for guidance – the Bible

            In our early years of marriage we had a blow-up argument that could have ended our marriage. Through the grace of God we both realized that we had to change our expectations of each other and be more patient if our marriage was to survive.  We keep learning that lesson daily as we face new challenges. Recently we have had to learn to adjust to retirement. We now value prayer even more as our family is reduced to just the two of us without the responsibilities and challenges of children.